MARRIAGE COVENANT - IITB 10.19

 

Chapter 10.19

Marriage

Covenant

Design – Bride Price – Wedding Party - Children

Interracial Marriage - Sampson’s wife – Polygamy

What’s Love got to do with it? - Divorce – Alimony

Custody - Marriage Instructions from God

 

 

First Word

     Marriage today is presented to appeal to the “Lower Instincts” of man instead of the “Higher Instincts” which glorifies God.  We have glamorized Adultery, Divorce, loose marriage vows and same sex marriage as the norm.  This Word study is to refresh and renew the dignity, righteousness and intimacy of Marriage.

 

Definition

     Wikipedia; Marriage (also called matrimony or wedlock) is a socially or ritually recognized union or legal contract between spouses that establishes rights and obligations.  The definition of marriage varies according to different cultures, but it is principally an institution in which interpersonal relationships, usually intimate and sexual, are acknowledged.

     When defined broadly, marriage is considered a “cultural universal.  A broad definition of marriage includes those that are monogamous, polygamous, same-sex and temporary.  People marry for many reasons, including: legal, social, libidinal, emotional, financial, spiritual, and religious.  Who they marry may be influenced by socially determined rules of incest, prescriptive marriage rules, parental choice and individual desire.

     Webster; Marriage:  The state of being married… To join in wedlock as husband and wife… Intimately joined… Husband; a male - Wife; a femaleProcreate; to produce or bring into existence.[1] 

 

Scripture

     Forbidding Marriage: Because of the “focused” preaching of the Gospel, Paul thought it best not to have any encumbrances such as marriage, but he did not forbid it.   Peter thought differently and was married and took his wife with him on his mission trips.[2]  Some men, through their own hypocrisy have made doctrines forbidding marriage, scripture rebukes this and labels it as lies.  

     When I read this scripture; I can’t help but think of the Catholic Church forbidding their Priest to marry and the issues that it has caused.[3]  Scripture states Priest were only forbidden to marry prostitutes and divorced women.[4] If Peter was the first Catholic Pope; then by example Priest should be allowed to marry as Peter was.  It’s in the Book.

     Bible: Marriage is a COVENANT between a man, a woman and God.[5]  After God made Adam he gave him a wife so that he would not be alone, and he would have love, companionship and would be physically, emotionally and spiritually complete.[6]

     God said when a man marries a woman the two become one flesh.[7]  God made Eve, ONE woman from Adam’s own flesh.[8]  This suggests that God’s ideal is for a man to be the husband of ONE wife and for the MARRIAGE TO BE PERMANENT.

     Christ honored the Marriage Covenant by attending a wedding and working His first miracle of turning water into wine[9]. Wine is symbolic of spiritual blessings, goodness, prosperity, abundance, safety and health. (Drinking alcohol is not a sin, God have it to us and said it is good; Drunkenness is a sin, and so is Gluttony)

     In my BS, I believe that in the beginning, God Himself instituted and ordained the family life[10] when He created man both male and female and commanded them to multiply.[11] 

 

An awesome thought: through marriage, a man and a woman

are permitted to be God’s instruments in creating a new life;

an immortal life that will live forever; somewhere.

 

     Marriage is not something that is drifted into aimlessly or swept into by a whirlwind of passion.  It’s “For better or worse.” Marriage requires serious thought of the fitting together of two lives and the arduous responsibilities that comes along with it, plus plugging into the working of God’s ultimate plan.[12]

When we acknowledge God, He will direct our path.[13]

     In God’s plan, two people are better than one;[14] they can warm each other as well as help each other; they are like TWO bears… Bear and Forbear… Forbearance, consideration and mutual kindness solidifies the home.  Marriage was divinely instituted that the man and wife should become one flesh.  The two MUST belong to the Lord; both worshiping the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.[15]  God will give them one heart and one way to honor Him, so that it will go well with them and their children after them;[16] it’s a partnership that only death can separate.[17]

     The spouse selected should not bring shame, but bring honor to the parents and family.[18]  Marriage is designed for contentment and happiness, not wanting that any should be alone.  It is to be a source of joy and satisfaction.[19]

 

     Marriage is designed to allow us to participate in the bringing forth of a new godly creation, a child.[20]  Marriage avoids immorality and provides an honorable and lawful relationship with one spouse.[21]

 

Marriage is sacred and is symbolic of

the UNION between God and His own; the church.[22]

Did it my way

     Sampson was called by God before he was ever born to take the Nazirite vow and be a judge over Israel.[23]  Although Sampson was a Judge in Israel, he did not seek God in his actions; far from it, according to Josephus the Jewish Historian, he became full of pride and arrogance stating that God had nothing to do with his success; although later he finally did repent and asked for forgiveness.

     Sampson did not check with God about Delilah;[24] he only saw her outward beauty[25] and wanted her and without God’s guidance his holy wedlock became an unholy deadlock.[26]  Sampson not only intermarried with a Philistine woman,[27] but she was also a prostitute; bringing shame to his parents TWICE over.  However God used this un-holy marriage in His own plan, His ultimate end.

     Thousands of Philistine warriors could not bring Samson down, BUT one lone harlot ensnared him.  This unholy marriage cost him his strength, his liberty, his eyes and finally his life.

 

 

As Dr. Phil would say, “How’s that workin’ for you Sampson?

 

Josephus 11:306 – Delilah was a harlot among the philistines

306 However he at length transgressed the laws of his country, and altered his own regular way of living, and imitated the strange customs of foreigners, which thing was the beginning of his miseries; for

HE FELL IN LOVE WITH A WOMAN THAT WAS A HARLOT;

HER NAMED WAS DELILAH, and he lived with her.

Josephus 8:300 – Sampson slew 1,000 with a jaw bone of an ass.

300 Samson broke his bonds asunder and catching up the jawbone of an ass that lay down at his feet, fell upon his enemies, and

SMITING THEM WITH HIS JAWBONE SLEW A THOUSAND OF THEM,

and put the rest to flight and into great disorder

Josephus 9:301 – Sampson became proud and vaunted himself

301 Upon this slaughter Samson was too PROUD of what he had performed and aside that

THIS DID NOT COME TO PASS BY THE ASSISTANCE OF GOD,

but that his successes was to be ascribed to this own courage and vaunted himself, that it was out of a dread of him that some of his enemies fell, and the rest ran away upon his use of the jawbone.

Josephus 9:302 In the end; Samson asked forgiveness for what he said.

302 But when a great thirst came upon him,

HE CONSIDERED THAT HUMAN COURAGE IS NOTHING,

AND BARE TESTIMONY THAT ALL IS TO BE ASCRIBED TO GOD,

and besought him that he would not be angry at anything he had said.

 

Marriage Covenant

     The Marriage covenant requires preparation of THREE THINGS.

1)      Prayer:  Start early seeking God for “His will” concerning your marriage partner.  There is THREE involved in this covenant; a man; a woman and God, this is Holy covenant. The servant of Abraham relied upon the divine promise of guidance from God to find a wife for Isaac and it was Love at first sight.[28]  Ask according to God’s will and He will hear you and you will have it.[29]  

It is God’s will that you find the right one to marry, as some marriages can be made in Hell.  Seek first the kingdom of heaven and the rest of your needs will be added unto you.[30]

2)     Seek Counsel concerning the length, breath and responsibility of this BINDINGlife commitment. Wait on God, be patient, it may take some time, maybe years; Jacob worked for seven years TWICE for the hand of Rachel and the years seemed to him as just a few days;[31] his love for Rachel was so great that when he kissed her, he wept.[32]  Jacob loved, not only in word, but in deed.   Christ loved the Church and gave Himself for it.  Count the cost[33] before the marriage merger; all the assets will be combined as well as ALL the liabilities, so long as you both shall live.  Pray, ponder and take the time that is required.

3)     Set the time and place:   In a wedding you invite friends, relatives and witness; those that will hold you accountable.  God is present and is the WITNESS to the Marriage Covenant; [34] because of God’s presence, the place you marry becomes holy ground.[35]  SELAH

 

Instructions from God

     The Church is the Bride of our Maker; the Maker is the husband of the Believer.  Christ is the head of the Husband and the Husband is the head of the Wife.[36]  Let Christ be the head of your home; the UNSEEN GUEST at every meal; the SILENT LISTENER to every conversation.[37]  Keep and teach your family The way of the Lord”.[38]  A man that finds a Believing wife, finds a good thing and will receive FAVOR from God.[39]  

Marry only a believer or they will be a source of irritation and grief to your family.[40]

    

     Husbands are to have only ONE WIFE[41] and are not to be harsh with her, but to love her[42] and treat her with respect and honor so that his prayers will not be hindered.[43]  Have a constant delight in her [44]and let no man or another woman come between the two of you.[45]  Let your speech be excellent that it not be condemned; seasoned with grace; bridled so as not to offend. [46]

Be sensitive to her needs and comfort her when she is stressed.[47]

 

     Wives are to love and respect their husbands;[48] exhibit self-control; be pure, kind and busy at home and submit to their husbands as it is fit in the Lord.[49] 

     Let your beauty come from your inner self with a gentle and quiet spirit,[50] not from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes.[51]  Dress modestly and decently and do good works.

     You are to be a women worthy of respect; not a malicious talker,[52] but temperate and trustworthy in everything.  Let your virtuousness be a crown to your husband;[53] your worth will exceed that of rubies.[54]      

     Do not withhold your bodies from each other except for a time of prayer,[55] but then come back together, lest SATAN will get a foothold in your marriage: your bodies belong to each other.  Let your home be a home of family prayer. Recall the proverb; “A family that prays together stays together”.  A house without prayer is like a house without a roof.  When sorrows and needs come; share your heart with the Lord in prayer and receive comfort.

Prayer is the mortar between the bricks of a home.

 

     Children are a heritage and a GIFT from God;[56] bless, provide and have compassion for them.[57]  Pray for them,[58] and chasten them, but don’t provoke them to anger.[59]  Take them to church, teach them the ways of God, generation to generation.[60] Command them to obey God’s Laws;[61] teach them right from wrong, do not withhold discipline from them, it will save their life.[62]  God disciplines HIS children, therefore following God’s example you are to discipline YOUR children with the means that gets their attention.[63]

     No man lives unto just himself; his influence is never neutral.  He sows either evil or good seeds that influences future generations.  Pour out good seed for spiritual blessings on your children; make your home a place of refuge for them[64] and leave them an inheritance.[65]

Children honor your mother and your father

so that things will go well with you and you will have a long life.

 

Interracial Marriage

     The Song of Solomon speaks of Solomon as a Hebrew in love with a BLACK woman, but was she really black?  The scriptures indicate that she was forced to work in the vineyards and the sun made her skin dark.[66]  Read the Song of Solomon to see the beautiful courtship and intimacy between these two. The Song of Solomon is also symbolic of the love between Jehovah God and Israel.  Marriage is a shadow of the church as the Bride of Christ.

     God commanded the Israelites to not intermarry with those of other nations;[67] God wanted a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation set apart to Him.[68]

     King Solomon did evil in the sight of god and intermarried, having 700 wives and 300 concubines and this led him into even deeper SIN. [69]

     However I must point out that this command of segregation was for the nation of Israel; it did not apply to the other heathen nations that worshipped the numerous pagan gods. The concept of segregation still applies; you should not be unequally yoked. [70]

 

A Believer should not marry a un-believer

whether you are Jewish or not.

 



[1] Genesis 1:28 – We are commanded to have children; "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it”.

[2] 1 Corenthians 9:5 – Cephas-(Peter) took his wife with him

[3] 1 Tim 4:2 – It was an grievous ERROR to ever forbid marriage

[4] Leviticus 21:7 – PRIEST CANNOT MARRY PROSTITUTES OR DIVORCED WOMEN

 

[5] Job 31:1 – Marriage is a COVENANT -- Malachi 2:14 – The Lord is IN COVENANT with you and your wife.

[6] 1 Corenthians 7:1-2 – Since there is so much immorality, each MAN should have his own WIFE, and each WOMAN her own HUSBAND -- Ephesians 5:33 – Love and honor each other and (let) the wife (see) that she fear (honors) her husband

[7] Genesis 2:24 – A man and a woman become one flesh

[8] Genesis 1:27 – God created male & female in His own image -- Genesis 2:22 – God made Woman from Man’s flesh, the TWO are ONE

[9] John 2:1-11 – Jesus the Christ honors the Marriage Covenant when He turned water into wine at a wedding

[10] Ephesians 3:14-15 – God instituted the Family Unit

[11] Genesis 2:24 – Man and a Woman become ONE flesh -- Genesis 2:22 – God made Woman from Man’s flesh, the TWO are ONE

[12] Colossians 3:2 – Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things

[13] Proverbs 30:18-19 – God will direct the ways of a man and his wife -- Proverbs 3:6 – Acknowledge God and He will direct your path

[14] Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 – God says TWO are better than one -- Genesis 2:18 – It is not good to be alone, we need a helpmate

[15] 1 Corenthians 7:39 – YOUR SPOUSE MUST ALSO BELONG TO THE LORD

[16] Jeremiah 32:39 – God will give them ONE heart and ONE way forever for the good of them, and of their children after them

[17] Romans 7:2-3 – The Marriage is until death do us part

[18] Genesis 28:8-9 – Select and marry someone that does not bring shame to the family

[19] Proverbs 5:18 – Marriage is a source of Joy and blessings and satisfaction.

[20] Malachi 2:15 – God desires Godly children for the family

[21] 1 Corenthians 7:2 – Avoid immorality; enter into the Marriage Covenant with God

[22] Isaiah 54:5 – God; the husband of the Church; a sacred institution

 

[23] Judges 13:2-5 - Sampson was called to be set apart as a Nazarite and become a Judge over Israel even before his was born

[24] Judges 14:3b – Get me that Philistine woman for me to be my wife

[25] 1 Peter 3:3-4 – Beauty should come from within; gentle and a quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. Not from outward adornment, braided hair, gold jewelry and fine clothes

[26] Judges 16:10 – Delilah was treacherous; it was a marriage made in Hell

[27] Judges 14:3a – Delilah was not of their race or faith.

[28] Genesis 24:67 – It was Love at first sight for Isaac and Rebekah

[29] 1 John 5:14-15 – Ask according to God’s will and He will hear you

[30] Matthew 6:33 – Seek God first and He will ADD the best of other things as well -- Genesis 24:7 – The LORD God will guide you to your wife if you ask

[31] Genesis 29:20 – Jacob worked for seven years to marry Rachel

[32] Genesis 29:11 – Such was Jacob’s love that when he kissed Rachel he wept

[33] Luke 14:28-29 – Count the cost of the responsibilities, the assets and liabilities before you marry

[34] Malachi 2:14 – The Lord is the WITNESS to the Marriage Covenant  -- Deuteronomy 4:26 – God is the WITNESS of the Marriage Covenant

[35] Exodus 3:4-5 – Where you marry is Holy Ground because God is present there.

     HUSBANDS

[36] 1 Corenthians 11:3 – The head of the husband is Christ -- Isaiah 54:5 – Our Maker is the husband of the Believer -- Ephesians 5:23 – The head of the wife is her husband just as Christ is the head of the church -- Genesis 3:16 – The husband has authority over the wife -- 

[37] Luke 19:46 – Let your home be a house of family prayer

[38] Genesis 18:19 – KEEP and TEACH your family the way of the Lord

[39] Proverbs 18:22 – Whoever finds a Believing wife will receive favor from God

[40] Genesis 26:34-35 – MARRY ONLY A BELIEVER

[41] Titus 1:6 - Husband shall have only ONE wife -- Mark 10:7-8 – The Husband shall have only ONE wife, the two will become ONE flesh.' So they are no longer two, but ONE

[42] Ephesians 5:25 – Husbands love your wife just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

[43] 1 Peter 3:7 – Treat your wife with respect so that nothing will hinder your prayers

[44] Proverbs 5:18 – Husbands have a constant delight in your wife

[45] Matthew 19:6 – Let no man or woman come between the two of you.

[46] Proverbs 17:7 – Have EXCELLENT speech  -- Titus 2:8 – Speak SOUND SPEECH that cannot be condemned -- Colossians 4:6 – Season your Speech with GRACE -- James 3:2 – Let your Speech be with DIGNITY so as not to offend -- Colossians 3:19 – Don’t be harsh to one other

[47] 1 Samuel 1:8 – Husbands be sensitive to your wife’s needs and Comfort her -- Matthew 14:12 – Share your sorrow with Jesus; his disciples came, and took up the body (of John the Baptist), and buried it, and (in sorrow) went and told Jesus

     WIVES

[48] Titus 2:4-5 – Wives love your husband; be pure and kind, be self-controlled -- Ephesians 5:33 – Wives respect your husband

[49] Colossians 3:18 – Wives submit to your husbands as it is fit in the Lord

 

[50] 1 Tim 2:9-10 – For women who profess to worship God; Dress modestly and decently

[51] 1 Peter 3:3-5 – Let your beauty come from your inner self

[52] 1 Timothy 3:11 – Don’t gossip; be temperate and trustworthy

[53] Proverbs 12:4 – Let your virtuousness be a crown to your husband

[54] Proverbs 31:10-12 – A Virtuousness wife is worth more than rubies.

[55] 1 Corenthians 7:3-5 – Do not withhold your body from each other

     CHILDREN

[56] Genesis 4:1 – Children are a GIFT from God -- Psalm 127:3 – Children are a HERITAGE from God; a reward.

[57] 1 Timothy 5:8 – Parents; provide for the needs of your children as well as the extended family  -- Hebrews 11:20 – Bless your children generation to generation -- Psalm 103:13 – Have Compassion on your children

[58] 1 Chronicals 29:19 – PRAY for your children to keep God’s commands, requirements and decrees

[59] Ephesians 6:4 – Don’t provoke your children to anger, but chasten and admonish them with compassion

[60] Matthew 19:14 – Take your children to Church -- Proverbs 22:6 – TRAIN your children in what is right and when they are older they will not turn from it -- Ephesians 6:4 – INSTRUCT your children in the ways of the Lord -- Deuteronomy 4:9 – Teach God’s ways generation to generation -- Deuteronomy 32:46 – Require your children to OBEY the Lord’s commands

[61] Ephesians 6:1-3 – Children, obey your parents that it may be well with you and you will live longer.

[62] Proverbs 23:13-14 – Don’t withhold discipline from your children, it will save their life -- Proverbs 19:18 – DISCIPLINE your children while they are very young -- Proverbs 13:24 – If you love your child, then spank them if they need correction -- Proverbs 29:17 – Discipline puts peace in your life as well as delight in your soul 

[63] Hebrews 12:7-8 – God disciplines his own children He is treating you as His sons

[64] Proverbs 14:26 – Make your home a place of refuge.

[65] Proverbs 13:22 – Plan to LEAVE AN INHERITANCE for future generation

[66] Song of Solomon 1:5-7 – I am beautifully darkened by the sun

 

[67] Deuteronomy 7:1-5 – God command Israel NOT TO INTERMARRY with the pagan nations

[68] 1 Peter 2:9 – Israel is a CHOSEN PEOPLE, a ROYAL PRIESTHOOD, a HOLY NATION

[69] 1 Kings 11:1-9 – Solomon intermarried and Sinned against God and the LORD became angry with Solomon because his heart had turned away from the LORD, the God of Israel

[70] 2 Corenthians 6:14 – DO NOT BE UNEQUALLY YOKED WITH UNBELIEVERS, for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity or what communion hath light with darkness?

 

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